Day 148: The "I's" in California

This past week I traveled out to San Diego California for work. It was a good trip and myself and Bobby Keating (a co-op student from Clemson) had a good time and accomplished all of the goals set before us. But this post isn't about the work we did while we were there. It's about the differences in cultures that become apparent when you visit different places.'

Chances are where you live you have certain tendencies, etiquette and manners that you were taught. Differences come on the extent of these manners and practices of etiquette, and it was somewhat amazing to see how different Californians act in respects to the Southern traditions I was raised in/with. I've been to California before but it was always with larger groups in confined resorts that did not really allow for interactions with Californians outside of the workplace environment.

But this trip allowed for those interactions. In general Californians were very much like everyone else I've met, but one thing stood out that was different. They seem to be focused on themselves more than the average person. I say this in respect to how they treat others they don't know. A key example was one day at lunch when we were leaving a restaurant. I held the door open for an older couple, and two younger ladies to enter. They all seemed genuinely surprised and grateful for something that was second nature to me and my upbringing.

A co-worker who is also originally from the south and is working temporarily in San Diego said he has had much the same reactions when doing similar acts. He related a story of his wife's frustration at the apparent indifference to her need for assistance one day when she had their four kids (all of whom are young) and was out shopping. She was having trouble making it through some doors, and people continually walked by without asking if she needed help or even trying to assist her.

Another situation from the trip was when we were driving down near one of the beach areas after work one day. We came to a pedestrian cross walk where (I am not making this up or kidding when I say this) an elderly lady with a walker was being assisted by another elderly couple. I had seen 3 cars go in front of them, not even pausing to look at them. I on the other hand stopped and motioned them across the road. They all smiled and waved, and proceeded across the street. Mean while the driver in car behind me got irritated and even honked his horn. I smiled into my rear view mirror and waved at him politely.

I write all of this to point out that different cultures and regions more or less encourage some of the ideals of chivalry. Are Californians bad people? No, definitely not (except the guy behind me that honked his horn) but they are farther away from the ideas that are essential to chivalry. It is the same all around the world, and I guess it is a decline in the spreading of these ideals and courtesies that appear to have chivalry on the ropes and close to going down for the count.

I think too, that it has a lot to do with being aware of your surroundings and not focusing or internalizing so much on ones self. In order to see that you could be more courteous to others you have to be able to identify that they might need assistance or that you could be able to help them in some small way.

In other news, my life continues. I have been traveling a lot. Some for vacation, most of it for work, and my blog here suffers for it, but I look to be getting things back on track.

Likewise with the travel I have been unable to attend sword classes. However, I am working with Sensei Urso to determine alternatives to the Saturday classes, as my Saturdays are quickly filling up with family and other obligations. I hope to have a set schedule to resume my training.

Thanks for following me on this quest. It has already been rewarding, and though it has taken many different turns than I thought it would, I think all of the changes are for the better. I hope that any endeavors that you pursue will be likewise fruitful and change you for the better.

Until next time,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel