Chivalry Rule 33: Be polite and attentive.
This week I was in Vancouver, WA (right across the river from Portland, OR) to teach at a product training class. It's odd how you can learn so much yourself and about yourself from teaching others. While I know the subject matter on which I taught, the questions that were asked from the students pushed me to find new answers, and reinforced what I did know.
I have to admit though that I came to the training thinking that it would not be enjoyable, and I dreaded it. Once I got there and things started, my co-worker Jill and I settle into things and I started to enjoy it. I got more comfortable talking to the students most of whom were all older than both Jill and I. It is odd to teach in such circumstances, but I tried to make sure that the students were comfortable with me and what I was teaching.
I did not realize it at the time, but I guess I went out of my way to be polite. Jill and I made sure that we answered all answers and paid attention to the students questions and suggestions. We received positive feedback from some students about our politeness and attention to detail.
These are small and simple things, that don't tie directly into chivalry, or not in most people's minds. Politeness and attentiveness go a long way with making a good first impression with people, and with earning and maintaining people's trust and respect. In a world where everyone is only concerned with themselves and their wants and needs, it is with a fading thought that most people think to be polite and truly pay attention to others. I feel like I have always been polite, but I sometimes have a hard time being attentive. I'll have to continue to work on it.
Chivalry Rule 34: Be respectful of host, women, and honor.
HOST
Part of my discomfort with this trip was the level of support I thought we would get in teaching this class. I have to admit that the sales person that we would be working with had a reputation that preceded him. I wasn't sure how well he knew the products or how good he was at his job. Imagine to my surprise when I met him for myself and found that he was in fact quite knowledgeable and good at what he does. I'd let other people's opinions and statements allow me to make an opinion and judgment about him. I now feel ashamed to have allowed such a thing to happen, and I have since reserved judgement about others that I do not know or interact with. I challenge you to do the same.
I say all of this to talk to the fact that I did not respect the host of the class. I wasn't being very chivalrous or honorable at all. After I met the salesman, and got to know him, I gained respect for him. I should have been respectful from the start, but at least I was able to change my mind about it. I can now count him as a friend, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet him myself. Everyone hosting the training class were top notch and great to work with.
WOMEN
As I've said in previous posts, I've always gone out of my way to be respectful to women. Particularly in my working profession, I am in a field of work that is mostly male dominated, so females are rarely encountered. I've made it a point to not treat them any differently than the men. Most of the time, the females ask more questions about things than their male counter parts. Most of the time I think that females are talked down and not respected for their talents or abilities particularly in areas dominated by men. Condescension serves no one, and only shows insecurity and fear in the person doing it.
HONOR
Honor is a prickly subject. Most people don't even think about it. With all the things we think we have to pay attention to, the respect, integrity in beliefs, and merits of another person, be it big or small, is far beneath our notice. The world would be a better place if we did so. I feel I've tried to be conscious of this through my life. To understand that everyone in this world is good at something, and to recognize that and respect them for it is another exercise that requires attention to be taken away from one's self and placed on to others. Look for the good in others, and honor them for it. Isn't that what we all want from others? To see the good in ourselves. Remember that and honor other people. You'll gain much honor and respect for it.
I will not be able to make a post next weekend as I will be in Atlanta, Georgia at JordanCon 2010, a convention devoted to the life and works of the great James (Jim) Oliver Rigney, Jr., AKA Robert Jordan, author of The Wheel of Time series. It will be a great time to see friends I made last year, and to make some new ones who share my love of such a great series of books.
I will try to post in the days before or after JordanCon, but for now I can't promise that I will have time.
Until then,
I am,
Jeffrey R. Daniel
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