Day 22: Living the Quest

Over time, I will go through all of the rules of chivalry (as listed in my first blog entry) and explain what I think they mean and how they can be used in todays society.

Last week, I outlined my definition of chivalry for this day and age; however defining an idea is very different than living it. It is a conscious decision to act chivalrously. Like all things in life, with enough practice it becomes second nature, but it takes a lot of devotion and learning to get to that point.

As some of the rules of chivalry relate to battle, I can only hold them in reserve for a time when they would be needed. So in this article I am mainly addressing the rules that relate to ones self, interactions with others, and manners in general. In particular today, I will be discussing the following two rules:

• Avoid lying to your fellow man.

When I first read the rules of chivalry, I was very intrigued by the word choice on some of them. Some of them say "Never do action X" or "Live in fashion Y" but the ones that were the most interesting to me were the ones that said "Avoid action X". This implies that they realized that there were times when the action was necessary, and that it could not be a hard and fast rule to live by. So it would be better to avoid the action, rather than banning it entirely.

For one to go through life and never lie is an impossibility. In some form or fashion you will lie at some point. It doesn't matter how small or large the lies are, you are bound to slip up once in a while, and often with good reason. In general, we usually lie to protect someone else's feelings or expectations. How many times have you eaten something you didn't like, but when asked pointedly about it by the person who made the food, you said that you did like it? You lied to protect their feelings. Is it a bad thing that you lied about something so small? No and yes, but your intentions were to make the other person feel good about what they did. Good intentions are often at the root of such lies, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So how am I personally faring on this rule? I feel that I have avoided lying. That doesn't mean that I haven't lied. I can say that I have not lied to anyone or about anything that I care for and respect, and I think that is what is important to me. Can I do better at it? Yes. Will I? Only time will tell.

• Exhibit self control.

Self control is a huge topic, and a part of life that I think humans beings in general have a hard time with. All you need do is look at the problems that are present in world, and you will see that most of them are in some way related to self control. Obesity and addiction are at the forefront of the list in my mind in regards to the lack of self control. In a society that thrives on the need for instant gratification, self control is all to easily lost, and hard to regain. People often take the easiest path that will provide the least resistance to get what they want, but in the back of their minds, they know that if they took the harder, more challenging route it would ultimately be better for them in the long run.

I know this all to well, as I am just as guilty as anyone at putting things off until tomorrow. Yes, procrastination is a lack of self control. Often times, I find myself making excuses for not wanting to do my regular work outs, even though I know that if I do, I will feel better and be a more healthy person because of it. All to often, I would rather play video games and sink time into exploring someone else's worlds, rather than writing my own stories and using my God given talents. On many occasions over the last couple of weeks, I have been impatient with myself and others. I have tried to fix things that only needed time, and have been frustrated with myself because of it. These are all forms of a lack of self control on my part. But the good news is, that I'm getting better at it.

So far this year I have kept to a regular workout routine, and have even added in the two hour sword lessons on Saturday (which I never used to workout on). The net result is that I went from 200 pounds down to 178 (-22 pounds) to this point.

On the writing front, I have been working more on my stories than in the last few years, and have committed myself to updating this very blog at least once a week (a challenge I did not know would be as hard as it is, but one that is very rewarding).

My patience has gotten remarkable better, and I find myself realizing that it is okay to give things time to work themselves out naturally. The universe wasn't built in a day, and I for one am glad that God at least took his time with it. Think of what it could be like if he hadn't been patient.

So my self control is improving, but as with the ebbs and flows of life go, so to do I have good and bad days at it. I am after all human, and far from perfect.

So overall on my quest, how do I think I am doing? I'd currently give myself a B-. Am I being hard on myself? Yes, but if I didn't learn or change as a result of this journey, then it would not be worth it.

Sword Lessons Update: Since I had a few requests for an update on sword lessons, I will try to provide them regularly. The lessons are going well. I am struggling with getting all of nomenclature and footwork, but I am sure that it will get easier with more practice. Sensei Urso has been very patient, encouraging, and knowledgeable. I will try to provide pictures soon.