Day 159: My Fellow Knights and Scoundrels

Most guys want to be Han Solo. And why not? The wise cracking space smuggler, lives the life of a bachelor, seeking fortunes and riches, but ends up pursuing a woman (who happens to be a princess) after his conscious gets the better of him. And at the end, he got the girl and helped to save the day. But look at what he had to go through to get there.

And Luke Skywalker? Yeah, some of us wanted to be him too. To be the outcast kid (Read the book, Luke was picked on and bullied) who later finds out he can learn to be a Jedi Knight? The last Jedi, who, it just so happens has to learn to use a lightsaber (which in case you didn't know is basically a laser sword. And if you didn't know that, I don't know where you've been the last 32 years, but welcome to Earth.)

"This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the Empire."

Forgive the Star Wars citations, but being born in 1977, the year A New Hope was released, and growing up with it, it is a part of me, and I'll wager a large part of every guy my age or younger (and some even older). Of course it had some influence. But what does that have to do with chivalry?

Some of us are just scoundrels, like Han, waiting on something to awaken the core parts of us. The scoundrels wander. They seek things they can't seem to find. They befriend big hairy Wookies. They drink excessively. They womanize. They shoot Greedo in the Mos Eisley Cantina. You know. The things that scoundrels do.

Some of us try to be knights. They try to live life by an order or a code. They try not to lie. They try to protect the weak and right the wrongs. They have a sense of duty and what seems right. They learn to use swords, or more modern weapons (guns) for that reason.

You probably think I'm a knight and always have been. That is true of my teenage years, but between then and now, I was more of a Han Solo. A scoundrel who knew right from wrong, but did not follow it. A person who finally realized the importance and need for knightly actions and finally followed through on it.

I know both knights and scoundrels. Some have crossed sides and gone from scoundreldom (Yeah it's a word, I just made it up.) to knighthood. A few seem to go the opposite direction. Most just stay where they are. But that's ok. The world needs Knights and Scoundrels. For neither one of these are truly bad, for neither is evil. A scoundrel might just need a cause to follow.

And what about you? Where you end up in that spectrum? That is for each person to discover on their own. For me, I'd like to be somewhere in the middle.

I'm not trying to be mentor, because I don't think chivalry is something that can be taught except by example. So I ask that if you are following me on this journey, (be you knight, damsel, scoundrel or wench) let me know your thoughts and examples of chivalry that you see in every day life. These don't just have to be the actions of males, for as I've said before, I think women can be chivalrous too.

Until next time,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 148: The "I's" in California

This past week I traveled out to San Diego California for work. It was a good trip and myself and Bobby Keating (a co-op student from Clemson) had a good time and accomplished all of the goals set before us. But this post isn't about the work we did while we were there. It's about the differences in cultures that become apparent when you visit different places.'

Chances are where you live you have certain tendencies, etiquette and manners that you were taught. Differences come on the extent of these manners and practices of etiquette, and it was somewhat amazing to see how different Californians act in respects to the Southern traditions I was raised in/with. I've been to California before but it was always with larger groups in confined resorts that did not really allow for interactions with Californians outside of the workplace environment.

But this trip allowed for those interactions. In general Californians were very much like everyone else I've met, but one thing stood out that was different. They seem to be focused on themselves more than the average person. I say this in respect to how they treat others they don't know. A key example was one day at lunch when we were leaving a restaurant. I held the door open for an older couple, and two younger ladies to enter. They all seemed genuinely surprised and grateful for something that was second nature to me and my upbringing.

A co-worker who is also originally from the south and is working temporarily in San Diego said he has had much the same reactions when doing similar acts. He related a story of his wife's frustration at the apparent indifference to her need for assistance one day when she had their four kids (all of whom are young) and was out shopping. She was having trouble making it through some doors, and people continually walked by without asking if she needed help or even trying to assist her.

Another situation from the trip was when we were driving down near one of the beach areas after work one day. We came to a pedestrian cross walk where (I am not making this up or kidding when I say this) an elderly lady with a walker was being assisted by another elderly couple. I had seen 3 cars go in front of them, not even pausing to look at them. I on the other hand stopped and motioned them across the road. They all smiled and waved, and proceeded across the street. Mean while the driver in car behind me got irritated and even honked his horn. I smiled into my rear view mirror and waved at him politely.

I write all of this to point out that different cultures and regions more or less encourage some of the ideals of chivalry. Are Californians bad people? No, definitely not (except the guy behind me that honked his horn) but they are farther away from the ideas that are essential to chivalry. It is the same all around the world, and I guess it is a decline in the spreading of these ideals and courtesies that appear to have chivalry on the ropes and close to going down for the count.

I think too, that it has a lot to do with being aware of your surroundings and not focusing or internalizing so much on ones self. In order to see that you could be more courteous to others you have to be able to identify that they might need assistance or that you could be able to help them in some small way.

In other news, my life continues. I have been traveling a lot. Some for vacation, most of it for work, and my blog here suffers for it, but I look to be getting things back on track.

Likewise with the travel I have been unable to attend sword classes. However, I am working with Sensei Urso to determine alternatives to the Saturday classes, as my Saturdays are quickly filling up with family and other obligations. I hope to have a set schedule to resume my training.

Thanks for following me on this quest. It has already been rewarding, and though it has taken many different turns than I thought it would, I think all of the changes are for the better. I hope that any endeavors that you pursue will be likewise fruitful and change you for the better.

Until next time,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 126: "The Truth" of It

It seems like lately I keep hearing people talk about "the truth", as if there is one all encompassing truth in life. That if you find that truth everything else will fall into place.

I'm not sure where this myth came from but there is no one true answer to life's questions, because life is too broad to be summed up in only one answer. I guess the only truth is that there are multiple truths; sometimes even to the same story, question, or situation.

I say all of this to tell you the truth, because as the saying goes, the truth shall set you free. So here are some truths which I feel the need to share with you:

• I have had a period of change over the last three months and it has caused great turmoil in my life.
• I have not had time, energy, or the will to write blog posts about my quest here as a result.
• While I have improved myself over the last 4 months of my quest of chivalry, I feel that I have not been fully living up to the high standards I set for myself. Does that mean that I am wrong? That I admit that chivalry is dead? NO. Quite the opposite. The areas that I have improved have made me more true to myself and have made me be more truthful to those around me. The results of which lead me to make a life changing decision about the relationship that I was in.
• The decision has cause emotional pain to my spouse, family, and me, but it was the right decision and it had to be made. I was not being truthful to myself or to others by living in doubt, denial, and fear.
• Everyone in life makes mistakes, and sometimes it hurts to admit the mistakes and move to correct them.
• The truth is that Laura and I are separated and will eventually be filing for divorce.
• Laura and I will remain friends and she will keep in touch with my family, because she is still one of them, regardless of the connection.

I hope that my friends and family will forgive me for not being more forthcoming with the news sooner, but dealing with this the last few months was a personal matter, and Laura and I wanted to handle it as such. I am only writing about this here and now because it is a matter of honor and duty that I takes responsibility for my actions and be held accountable before those that I respect and love.

I invite any of those who wish to speak or write to me about this to do so in a private message, a visit in person, a phone call or an e-mail.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey

Day 91: Two steps forward, three steps back.

Two steps forward, three steps back.

It might be sword lesson step. It could be a dance step. But unfortunately it's been my life the last few weeks.

The changes and progress that I had made so far on my journey were great. Were because I've recently had a slight regression. I had made so much progress in such a quick amount of time that it was only a matter of time before I came back down to the realities of life. I'm getting back on track now, and I think things will start moving in the positive direction again, albeit a bit slower.

As humans we have the ability to ignore certain things in our lives at times. We can ignore doubts, denials, and unhappiness and convince ourselves otherwise. We can ignore or put off working on things that need our attention, and do what we want to for a period of time. But eventually the things we ignore will come back around to grab our attention, sometimes with dire consequences.

That seems to be what has happened with me over the last few weeks. Things I had pushed to the back burner, I had left there too long. I paid attention to the stuff that was important to me, and that made me a happy and a better person. But the stuff on the back burner started to burn, and so I had to attend to it. The results of which have cause me a good deal of stress. This is nothing that I cannot handle given time (and/or money of course) but these things have also taken a toll on me.

I have gained 7 pounds, and for a while I could not get my eating and work out habits under control. Things at work have been more stressful as I work to get caught back up, and back on track. I was traveling a lot too which added to the stress, bad eating, and work out habits.

I have only this week started to get back into the swing of things. Life is starting to get back to a normal rhythm. And hopefully my journey and updates will too.

So I'm sorry that I haven't posted lately, but now you know why. I will try to do better, though I already have to warn you I won't be posting next weekend as I am going out of town, and then traveling for work.

In the mean time, I would like to ask to hear your thoughts, concerns and feelings on why people think chivalry is dead, and what you think I (or you yourself) could do to help bring it back. Write a comment or send me an e-mail.

Until next time,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 71: Blademaster Already?

As I said in my previous blog post, I was not able to post last weekend as I attended JordanCon in Atlanta. It was a great weekend of fun with wonderful people, and is something I look forward to attending every year.

For the second year in a row I attended the sword forms class, where they demonstrate the movements associated with the sword form names that Robert Jordan uses during his sword fights. Unlike last year however, they also had a Blademaster tournament on Sunday afternoon.

In the world of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time, Blademasters are formally recognized as such when one of two things occurs: either they defeat a known blademaster in single combat with appropriate witnesses, or they are judged by a sufficient number of blademasters (5), via unanimous vote, to have demonstrated sufficient skill.

Using bamboo practice swords, this tournament would pit any person willing to take part against each other first. The first person to win two rounds by striking the other person (not in the head or on the hands, mind you!) won the round. In the cases where each person struck the other at the same time, each person gets a point. If it happens again on the second round then they continue on until one person landed a hit.

The people who made it through all of the rounds of combat undefeated would then get to challenge one of the three Blademasters. The first two people to defeat any of the Blademasters would then become a Blademaster, and receive their very own heron marked sword (the mark of a Blademaster) in foam version, of course.

I was late in arriving and missed out on the first round of fighting, so I just watched and learned what was going on. At the end of those rounds two people had the opprotunity to face a Blademaster. The first to win their challenge against Blademaster, Bao Pham was Brannon Cristholm. Sophie Decaudin then attempted to defeat Jimmy Liang, but was unsuccessful. Since they still had another Blademaster Sword to give away, they decided to have another round.

This is when I took part in the tournament. My sword training helped tremendously, and I was very focused as I defeated five opponents before being given the opportunity to choose which Blademaster I would fight. Being that I had seen Bao, Brannon, and Jimmy all fight previously, I decided to pick the only remaining Blademaster, Ben Gunderson. I did this because I wanted it to be the most challenging, and in some way felt that if I could defeat him then I would have earned my Blademaster title in truth. As soon as I picked Ben, I was told that I had just picked the only guy who hadn't been hit all day.

In the first round I got lucky and landed a strike on Ben's leg. In the second round we both hit each other's legs at the same time. So I won the bout 2 to 1.

It was a good battle, and I am glad I won, however after it was over and I watched a video of it I saw all of the things that I had done wrong. I was leaning forwards too much. My back should have been straight. My footwork is sloppy. But I won.

As Sensei Urso said yesterday during sword lessons, on any given day a novice can beat a master with a lucky strike at the right time. It was probably luck, but it still counts the same.

In the terms of JordanCon and the Wheel of Time, I am a Blademaster. In the reality of my learnings of the sword however, I am still very much a beginner, and I still have so much more to learn.

Click the image below to see a picture of all 5 Blademasters at the end of the tournament.

From Left to Right: James Liang, Jeffrey Daniel, Brannon Cristholm, Ben Gundersen, Bao Pham

Day 57: On the Road Again...

Chivalry Rule 33: Be polite and attentive.

This week I was in Vancouver, WA (right across the river from Portland, OR) to teach at a product training class. It's odd how you can learn so much yourself and about yourself from teaching others. While I know the subject matter on which I taught, the questions that were asked from the students pushed me to find new answers, and reinforced what I did know.

I have to admit though that I came to the training thinking that it would not be enjoyable, and I dreaded it. Once I got there and things started, my co-worker Jill and I settle into things and I started to enjoy it. I got more comfortable talking to the students most of whom were all older than both Jill and I. It is odd to teach in such circumstances, but I tried to make sure that the students were comfortable with me and what I was teaching.

I did not realize it at the time, but I guess I went out of my way to be polite. Jill and I made sure that we answered all answers and paid attention to the students questions and suggestions. We received positive feedback from some students about our politeness and attention to detail.

These are small and simple things, that don't tie directly into chivalry, or not in most people's minds. Politeness and attentiveness go a long way with making a good first impression with people, and with earning and maintaining people's trust and respect. In a world where everyone is only concerned with themselves and their wants and needs, it is with a fading thought that most people think to be polite and truly pay attention to others. I feel like I have always been polite, but I sometimes have a hard time being attentive. I'll have to continue to work on it.

Chivalry Rule 34: Be respectful of host, women, and honor.

HOST

Part of my discomfort with this trip was the level of support I thought we would get in teaching this class. I have to admit that the sales person that we would be working with had a reputation that preceded him. I wasn't sure how well he knew the products or how good he was at his job. Imagine to my surprise when I met him for myself and found that he was in fact quite knowledgeable and good at what he does. I'd let other people's opinions and statements allow me to make an opinion and judgment about him. I now feel ashamed to have allowed such a thing to happen, and I have since reserved judgement about others that I do not know or interact with. I challenge you to do the same.

I say all of this to talk to the fact that I did not respect the host of the class. I wasn't being very chivalrous or honorable at all. After I met the salesman, and got to know him, I gained respect for him. I should have been respectful from the start, but at least I was able to change my mind about it. I can now count him as a friend, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet him myself. Everyone hosting the training class were top notch and great to work with.

WOMEN

As I've said in previous posts, I've always gone out of my way to be respectful to women. Particularly in my working profession, I am in a field of work that is mostly male dominated, so females are rarely encountered. I've made it a point to not treat them any differently than the men. Most of the time, the females ask more questions about things than their male counter parts. Most of the time I think that females are talked down and not respected for their talents or abilities particularly in areas dominated by men. Condescension serves no one, and only shows insecurity and fear in the person doing it.

HONOR

Honor is a prickly subject. Most people don't even think about it. With all the things we think we have to pay attention to, the respect, integrity in beliefs, and merits of another person, be it big or small, is far beneath our notice. The world would be a better place if we did so. I feel I've tried to be conscious of this through my life. To understand that everyone in this world is good at something, and to recognize that and respect them for it is another exercise that requires attention to be taken away from one's self and placed on to others. Look for the good in others, and honor them for it. Isn't that what we all want from others? To see the good in ourselves. Remember that and honor other people. You'll gain much honor and respect for it.

I will not be able to make a post next weekend as I will be in Atlanta, Georgia at JordanCon 2010, a convention devoted to the life and works of the great James (Jim) Oliver Rigney, Jr., AKA Robert Jordan, author of The Wheel of Time series. It will be a great time to see friends I made last year, and to make some new ones who share my love of such a great series of books.

I will try to post in the days before or after JordanCon, but for now I can't promise that I will have time.

Until then,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 49: Responsible Actions

I humbly apologize for not posting last week as I took the weekend off for Easter and handling personal matters.

When I started this, I thought it would be a good challenge, and I was excited to see where it led me. I still am excited with my journey, but it is becoming apparent that living chivalrously is not easy.Perhaps that is another reason people think it is dead. It means being responsible for the consequences of all of your actions, both big and small. In society today, we often hear about accountability of corporations and individuals. Most of the time this accountability amounts to the smack on the wrist as punishment and being told not to do it again.

Chivalry calls for a little more from you. You must be held accountable for your actions and understand their ramifications before you act, and when necessary try to make amends if your actions involve or hurt others. I know this all to well, but as the saying goes, the truth shall set you free.

Back on Day 15, I wrote about defining chivalry and what it meant to me. I wrote:
"As in all things in life, everything has a place and a proper manner in which to handle situations. Chivalry is about handling those situations in a respectful manner, with resolute and honorable intentions. Being chivalrous is not as black and white as it might seem though. Sometimes it calls for hard decisions that could hurt or affect others. In these situations, chivalry calls for doing the right thing with respects to all those involved."

I've had to take my own advice in that respect over the past two weeks time. It has not been an easy road, but one that has to be taken. I hope that it is the right decision for all involved, but I know that as with all things, time will tell for sure. It's never easy to hurt someone you care about, but sometimes you have to in order to tell the truth and be fair and honest with them. So I've taken responsibility for my actions and now comes the hard part of following through on my word and making it right.

I will get back on track (both in life and with the blog), and will try to write an extra post to make up for last week's missed one.

Until then,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 35: Learning to Relax: A Sword Lesson's Update

"That is awesome!" is the usual response I hear when someone hears that I am learning the sword, and I have to agree it is. An antiquated weapon though it may be, it seems to me that people still respect it, and think it is an honorable weapon. There too I have to agree. I would encourage anyone that wishes to learn to take it up. $45 a month for your own personal professional sword trainer for two hours a week is a deal, no matter how you slice it.

Today was the fifth Sword Lesson class I have attended. I will not say that it has gotten easier, but I can tell that my body is getting use to it. Today I was not nearly as tired as the first few lessons (though I have a feeling if Sensei Urso reads that, then next week will be much harder. Advanced apologies to my fellow students Jeff and Matt, pictured down below). The Korean and Japanese vocabulary are becoming more familiar, as are the sword forms and sequences. It is still taxing, and I am glad for the additional exercise.

Oddly, my main challenge has been to learn to relax. Relax you say? Yes. Relax. For most of my life, the physically exertive actives I have taken part in have required strength and brute force. Or at least that is the way in which I probably handled them.

But the sword is different. It is more finesse. Much like like the sport of Golf, it is not strength that defines the ultimate outcome. In Golf if you try to muscle the ball when you hit it, it often does not go where you want it to go. If however you focus on your form and completing the arc of the club head, the ball will(with much practice) amazingly go where you want it to go. The Sword is very similar.

Strength and force are not as important as skill and speed. In order to be fast, you have to relax. If you tense up, it slows you down. And I tend to tense up trying to exert force and strength rather than speed. My shoulders are the main area of problem. Holding the sword out in front of me, I end up leaning forward and carrying the burden through my shoulders, and lateral back muscles. Sensei Urso is constantly telling me to relax my shoulders. He has reassured me that everyone has this problem at first, and that it takes time to learn to relax. I'm starting to grasp it, but it is hard to think about relaxing when you are attacking or defending. I'm sure it will come with time, but until then, it is still a work in progress.

Learning the sword has been very rewarding thus far. Today Sensei Urso asked why we learn the sword. To better ourselves. And why do we better ourselves? For our own reasons? Yes, but more so to benefit society.

This falls inline with why I wanted to undertake this quest. It is not just about me. Ultimately I am trying to show that chivalry does still have a place in society. While society has changed, it does not mean that chivalry has no place in the here and now. It simply means that chivalry too must change to fit the times. A good example of this is actually my sword lessons.

Would knights have learned Kum do/Goshindo sword arts? Of course not, they would have learned the medieval western sword arts. But aren't those different? Slightly, but the core basics are the same. Different vocabulary, but ultimately the same in the end. I am aware that there are western sword lessons available, but I choose to learn from an instructor who has proven credentials and is respected in his field. Others may choose differently. As Sensei Urso has said, you change to fit the school of your training; The school does not change to fit you. And thus I need to learn to relax if I want to progress. It will take time, but all things that are good for us do.

So this is just one way that I have changed chivalry to fit my needs. And in doing so, I hope it will benefit society. God knows we could all use more civility, honor, and manners.

Pictured below are my fellow student Jeff Fauble, Sensei Thomas Urso, and fellow student Matt Bachstein.

Next time with Sensei Urso's permission, I will try to remember to get some action shots.

Until next week,

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

Day 23: A Momentary Failure.

I said that I would update regularly on how I would try to apply acts of chivalry to every day situations. Tuesday was such a situation. I was at the grocery story in the self check out line awaiting a station to come open when in front of me, I saw an older woman and younger girl of about twelve years old. They were having a conversation, the contents of which I do not know, but I do know that the girl was upset about it. Granted, I do not know the details of what had happened before this or what their disagreement was, but I do know that the older woman (whom was not her mother as she referenced the girls mother during the conversation) was verbally abusive to the point of driving the girl to tears. I could not help but notice that the woman wore a shirt with a cross and hearts on it that spoke of spreading Christ love to all. The woman spoke with great anger and open hostility, at one point telling the girl to go stand over against the wall next to the exit, and wait for her to finish checking out her groceries. This led the girl to cry even more. These were not the tears of a temper tantrum or a cry for attention. These were tears of pain.

Other people in the area were watching as the girl cried and the older woman berated here in the middle of the grocery check out line. Most people pretended not to notice, but you could tell they were still paying attention to the spectacle.

And what did I do? Me, I was stuck in a internal conflict. Now-a-days, people don't want to get involved in situations like this. They think it is none of their business, and that is partly true. But the other part of me thought that I should have done something. One of the rules of chivalry talks of Defending the weak and the innocent. This young girl fell into that category, especially in comparison to the open hostility being unleashed on her.

But what did I end up doing? Nothing. I kept to myself, and let the verbal abuse continue.

I later thought about what I could have done in the situation. My wife, Laura, suggested that maybe I could have shown the girl a simple kindness. Maybe a smile or a hello to distract her from the situation, and maybe I can keep this in mind for future situations. It did not feel right to do nothing as I did, but maybe it was meant as a learning experience.

Day 22: Living the Quest

Over time, I will go through all of the rules of chivalry (as listed in my first blog entry) and explain what I think they mean and how they can be used in todays society.

Last week, I outlined my definition of chivalry for this day and age; however defining an idea is very different than living it. It is a conscious decision to act chivalrously. Like all things in life, with enough practice it becomes second nature, but it takes a lot of devotion and learning to get to that point.

As some of the rules of chivalry relate to battle, I can only hold them in reserve for a time when they would be needed. So in this article I am mainly addressing the rules that relate to ones self, interactions with others, and manners in general. In particular today, I will be discussing the following two rules:

• Avoid lying to your fellow man.

When I first read the rules of chivalry, I was very intrigued by the word choice on some of them. Some of them say "Never do action X" or "Live in fashion Y" but the ones that were the most interesting to me were the ones that said "Avoid action X". This implies that they realized that there were times when the action was necessary, and that it could not be a hard and fast rule to live by. So it would be better to avoid the action, rather than banning it entirely.

For one to go through life and never lie is an impossibility. In some form or fashion you will lie at some point. It doesn't matter how small or large the lies are, you are bound to slip up once in a while, and often with good reason. In general, we usually lie to protect someone else's feelings or expectations. How many times have you eaten something you didn't like, but when asked pointedly about it by the person who made the food, you said that you did like it? You lied to protect their feelings. Is it a bad thing that you lied about something so small? No and yes, but your intentions were to make the other person feel good about what they did. Good intentions are often at the root of such lies, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So how am I personally faring on this rule? I feel that I have avoided lying. That doesn't mean that I haven't lied. I can say that I have not lied to anyone or about anything that I care for and respect, and I think that is what is important to me. Can I do better at it? Yes. Will I? Only time will tell.

• Exhibit self control.

Self control is a huge topic, and a part of life that I think humans beings in general have a hard time with. All you need do is look at the problems that are present in world, and you will see that most of them are in some way related to self control. Obesity and addiction are at the forefront of the list in my mind in regards to the lack of self control. In a society that thrives on the need for instant gratification, self control is all to easily lost, and hard to regain. People often take the easiest path that will provide the least resistance to get what they want, but in the back of their minds, they know that if they took the harder, more challenging route it would ultimately be better for them in the long run.

I know this all to well, as I am just as guilty as anyone at putting things off until tomorrow. Yes, procrastination is a lack of self control. Often times, I find myself making excuses for not wanting to do my regular work outs, even though I know that if I do, I will feel better and be a more healthy person because of it. All to often, I would rather play video games and sink time into exploring someone else's worlds, rather than writing my own stories and using my God given talents. On many occasions over the last couple of weeks, I have been impatient with myself and others. I have tried to fix things that only needed time, and have been frustrated with myself because of it. These are all forms of a lack of self control on my part. But the good news is, that I'm getting better at it.

So far this year I have kept to a regular workout routine, and have even added in the two hour sword lessons on Saturday (which I never used to workout on). The net result is that I went from 200 pounds down to 178 (-22 pounds) to this point.

On the writing front, I have been working more on my stories than in the last few years, and have committed myself to updating this very blog at least once a week (a challenge I did not know would be as hard as it is, but one that is very rewarding).

My patience has gotten remarkable better, and I find myself realizing that it is okay to give things time to work themselves out naturally. The universe wasn't built in a day, and I for one am glad that God at least took his time with it. Think of what it could be like if he hadn't been patient.

So my self control is improving, but as with the ebbs and flows of life go, so to do I have good and bad days at it. I am after all human, and far from perfect.

So overall on my quest, how do I think I am doing? I'd currently give myself a B-. Am I being hard on myself? Yes, but if I didn't learn or change as a result of this journey, then it would not be worth it.

Sword Lessons Update: Since I had a few requests for an update on sword lessons, I will try to provide them regularly. The lessons are going well. I am struggling with getting all of nomenclature and footwork, but I am sure that it will get easier with more practice. Sensei Urso has been very patient, encouraging, and knowledgeable. I will try to provide pictures soon.

Day 15: Defining Chivalry

What is chivalry? Like many words in the English language, it can be defined in a multitude of ways.

The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition defines chivalry as:

The methods of training and standards of behavior for knights in the Middle Ages. The code of chivalry emphasized bravery, military skill, generosity in victory, piety, and courtesy to women.

As far as I am concerned, chivalry is represented in the ideals of sacrifice, honor, loyalty, justice, respect, and courtesy towards women and our fellow men. For chivalry to be truly dead, all of those words that define it would have to be untrue and retired.

Chivalry is about sacrifice, be it great (the giving of ones life for their country) or small (a simple gesture of holding a door so that someone else does not have to). Personal sacrifices that have no direct return, save respect and honor, to the one who made the action.

One cannot describe chivalry without properly talking about honor; for honesty, fairness and integrity are the key parts of it.

Loyalty is a trait that used to be a key part of the world, but has since fallen by the wayside. Be it professionally (staying the same company for most of one's career), in friendships, (treating friends more like family), or marriage (staying loyal to your spouse), Loyalty in all of these areas, has seen a decline in recent history. To value loyalty and to exhibit it, is a rare trait, and truly exemplifies chivalry.

Those who seek truth and justice in an honorable manner are chivalrous.

So long as there are just causes for people to believe in and fight for, there will be chivalry in the world. As Charles Kingsley said "Some say that the age of chivalry is past, that the spirit of romance is dead. The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth.”

As in all things in life, everything has a place and a proper manner in which to handle situations. Chivalry is about handling those situations in a respectful manner, with resolute and honorable intentions. Being chivalrous is not as black and white as it might seem though. Sometimes it calls for hard decisions that could hurt or affect others. In these situations, chivalry calls for doing the right thing with respects to all those involved.

And now to the most familiar definition. In today's culture, chivalry seems to be attached more to a male's courteous treatment of females. The lack or decline thereof, leading to the said "death of chivalry." Plenty of people take offense at chivalry, and site that women are capable of doing things for themselves, and do not need men to act in such a way. In this day and age, women have the rights and capabilities to take care of themselves in every fashion. That does not, however, mean that there is no reason that chivalry cannot exists.

To me, chivalry is not about superiority, sexism, or condescension. It is about politeness, respectfulness, and manners. It is about honor for oneself and showing others common courtesy. The essence of chivalry is the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Chivalry is not done in return for any form of favor, nor is it something that should be expected. It can be, however, appreciated and admired in another person.

A portion of the population would say that such chivalry is a weakness. They think that by lowering ones self in service or kindness to a female gives the latter more power. To the contrary I think that efforts and showing of respect, does not mean that the male is a push over. One can be chivalrous and still maintain their own strength, backbone, and masculinity.

But as I've stated above, chivalry is something more than manners. While it is what most people associate with chivalry, it is not limited to just the courtly treatment of the opposite sex.

Sacrifice, honor, loyalty, justice, respect, and courtesy towards women, i

t is all of these things together that make up chivalry.

It is true that it may be harder to tell acts of chivalry in this day and age, but that does not mean they do not exist.

No, chivalry is not dead. It might be an endangered species, but it is far from extinct.

Day 8: Reclaiming the Blade

9:30 AM:

I had a small setback this week, as I had a stomach virus that left me homebound. However, today I will take a step forward. Shortly, I will be heading to the Anderson Area YMCA to take part in my first sword lesson. I will give an update later in the day, and also discuss the documentary Reclaiming the Blade which I watched via Netflix. The sword instructor, Thomas Urso, that I will be learning from is featured in this documentary.

More later today.

6:20 PM:

Before I begin, I would like to recommend that you watch the documentary Reclaiming the Blade. It discusses the art of the sword and how through the hundreds of years of history, of which the sword played a huge part, the actual martial arts of swordplay were widely overlooked. It delves into the recent resurgence to learn the sword so that this form of martial arts can continue.

Harmony. Becoming one. "The Void" or "The Oneness," as Robert Jordan has called it. The connection between the person and the sword. The link between the instructor and the student. The junction of two opponents battling. The blank slate of your mind, and openness of the soul. Foremost, the respect of the blade as a weapon, and the gaining of knowledge to use it properly and only when needed. This is what learning the blade imparts. This was the most important thing I learned today.

Sure, I learned some sword forms, footwork, and new Japanese and Korean vocabulary. Of course, I have sore muscles. There is no doubt I will rest well tonight, but all of these things are secondary to the sense of fulfillment and wholeness that I experienced for two hours today.

Everyone in life (whether they realize it or not) has something that makes them feel complete. There is something that you do that you enjoy and are good at that makes you feel good. For me, I have a few of these things. I've always been a jack of all trades, but a master of none. But through repurposing myself and narrowing those things down in scope, I hope to become a jack of most trades, and master of a few. Learning the sword will be one of the latter. Writing will be another. After that, we'll see where my quests take me.

However, those things will be for another time; for now is the time for reclaiming the blade.

While this is technically the second sword lesson I have attended, (the first was at JordanCon last April 2009 and was significant for many reasons, one of which is my love of Robert Jordan's sword forms. Jimmy you did a great job!) this was my first real martial arts based class.

My first lesson of Kum Do/Goshindo went very well. The class was small, consisting of myself, Jeff Fauble, and Matt Bachstein, and our instructor, Thomas Urso. I was glad that the class was small, as it gave more opportunity for individual evaluation and instruction.

I did not have to buy or bring any equipment with me, as Sensei Urso had practice blades and equipment for me to use, though if I continue (and I will), I can purchase my own equipment.

After a brief introduction and education of the the differences between Korean and Japanese cultures and styles of swordsmanship (which are apparently the same except in name), we started with warm up and meditation, to wipe the slate clean. Sensei Urso instructed me on proper footwork, and the importance of balance.

After that we started with different sword strikes. As with all learning, repetition was the key. And repeat we did, at first with no targets, just the the importance of the form, and then later against targets to better hone our skills.

Later we would put our skills to the test and strike in quick succession (though never faster enough for Sensei Urso, as he called us all Grannies in Korean). It was during these exercises that I realized that while new to me, the forms and techniques came quite easily. My weekly work outs had prepared me at least for the physical exertion needed. I was later complimented by my fellow student Jeff Fauble, on my ability to keep up during a rigorous first lesson.

After that it was time to put what we learned to the test. After donning protective gear, helmets and gloves, we sparred against one another with foam covered practice swords and staves.

We finished the day with cool down stretches and meditation, with respects paid to those who came before us, our instructor, and our senior students.

The last was a few parting words from Sensei Urso on harmony and respect that we come with learning the art of the sword. For it is only with respect for the sword and ourselves and the combined ability to do damage, that we separate ourselves from the ignorant who would seek (willingly or unknowingly) to do harm to themselves or others.

It is a great irony that I find peace in learning the use of a weapon , but for those two hours, I was at peace with myself. Nothing else touched my mind or spirit, or diverted my attention. How much would you pay for that kind of harmony (even if for just two hours a week) in your life?

For me, it is not about the amount of money that I would have to spend to get such an experience, but for $45 a month, learning the sword is certainly a bargain.It is just one step on my quest, but it was a rewarding first step to take on the path.

If you would like to learn more about the class that I am taking, below is the course description as listed on the website of the Anderson Area YMCA's webpage.

Tae Kwon Do/Asian Sword Arts of SC

Tae Kwon Do (Korean Karate) is a self defense system which involves finely honed kicking and punching skills. Monday and Wednesday from 7:40-8:40pm. Asian Sword Arts curriculum includes Korean Kum Do (Asian fencing) and Japanese Goshindo (combatives and Batto Do/Iaido). Saturday from 11:15am-1:15pm. Both courses are suitable for children and adults and will help in the development of both mental and physical fitness. For more information contact instuctor Thomas Urso at 864-653-4647 or email thomasurso@gmail.com

Day 1: In search of the Sword...

I started off the first day of my quest with looking for sword lessons. My search was broad. I was not limiting myself to any particular sword type or form. I felt I would be lucky to find any at all in my local area.

My first searches on Google lead me to utter disappointment. Sword lessons are such a rare and focused specialty, that I feared I might have to do classes online, without the training and mentoring of a sword master.

As expected, the first results lead me to sword lessons in larger metropolitan areas, such as Atlanta (http://www.scholasaintgeorge.org/ ) , Calgary (http://www.swordacademy.com/), and Indianapolis (http://www.mudokwan.com/martial-arts/kendo) all of which seem like great programs, with the only drawback being that they are not close enough to feasibly be realistic sites where I could train.

The results were not looking good, but I needed to refine my search a bit to be more locally focus. With limited sites at larger cities, I did not have much hope that a local search would yield anything useful.

To my surprise, I was joyfully wrong.

Enter Thomas Urso, Kum Do/ Goshindo Instructor.

While this met my local search criteria for South Carolina, I did not immediately know where Thomas was located. After reading through a Note he had written on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=9943328412), I decided to find out more information.

Much to my delight, he is located in Clemson, SC.

God had surely sent me the means to make this part of my quest successful.

I will contact Mr. Urso today, and see when lessons can begin.

As my favorite author Robert Jordan would say, "Peace favor your sword."

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel

In the Beginning...

My entire life, I have felt somewhat out of place. Not only out of place, but out of time.

Was I born in the wrong time period? Do I just have an old soul? Why do I miss the feeling of a sword at my side? Why do I feel that wrongs must be righted and the weak must be defended? Why do I feel that the sword is a much nobler and just weapon than a gun could ever be?

You can laugh. You can scoff. But it is how I feel.

They say that chivalry is dead.

Some might beg to differ. Begging, however is not in my being.

So, I will prove it is not dead instead.

With that in mind, I will set out on a quest of betterment and reconstitution. I searched for and found the following rules of chivalry (http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html).

These seem to resonate with me, so for the next 365 days I will pledge to live by them every day. As easy as it might seem to live by these, I know it will be a challenge.

I will update my blog at least once a week with the challenges I face on my quest. Where a rule applies to I will cite it with explanations. Some of these items do not have meaning in our country, and I will therefore make amendments in parenthesis when such items appear.

Live to serve King(God) and Country.

Live to defend Crown (Home) and Country and all it holds dear.

Live one's life so that it is worthy of respect and honor.

Live for freedom, justice and all that is good.

Never attack an unarmed foe.

Never use a weapon on an opponent not equal to the attack.

Never attack from behind.

Avoid lying to your fellow man.

Avoid cheating.

Avoid torture.

Obey the law of King (God), Country, and chivalry.

Administer justice.

Protect the innocent.

Exhibit self control.

Show respect to authority.

Respect women.

Exhibit Courage in word and deed.

Defend the weak and innocent.

Destroy evil in all of its monstrous forms.

Crush the monsters that steal our land and rob our people.

Fight with honor.

Avenge the wronged.

Never abandon a friend, ally, or noble cause.

Fight for the ideals of king (God), country, and chivalry.

Die with valor.

Always keep one's word of honor.

Always maintain one's principles.

Never betray a confidence or comrade.

Avoid deception.

Respect life and freedom.

Die with honor.

Exhibit manners.

Be polite and attentive.

Be respectful of host, women, and honor.

Loyalty to country, King(God), honor, freedom, and the code of chivalry.

Loyalty to one's friends and those who lay their trust in thee.

But chivalry is not enough by itself. For a chivalrous knight is nothing without his sword and his health.

Therefore, I will find and participate in sword lessons. In an age where swords have been rendered nearly useless ornamental objects, many have forgotten their majesty and nobility. For me though, it will be a way to reconnect and find that piece of me that has seemed to be missing. It will also help me to become more healthy and an additional source of stress relief from the normal world.

And so, now it begins. Where it ends, I am not sure, but I know that it will be at something/place better.

I am,

Jeffrey R. Daniel